Monthly Archives: March 2010

Pessimist Loans

Borrow money from pessimists–they don’t expect it back

The Way to a Man’s Heart

Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

Magnets vs Women

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!

Boss Jokes

Boss: (to employee) – Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who’s there? Boss: Not you anymore.

3 Legged Dog

A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

Eskimo Girls

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

Wife vs Girlfriend

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!

Programming Sex

Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE

A Rose By Many Other Names

Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely petals and perfume aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

Harassment

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute

Alien Text Message

I’M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEXT. AS YOU ARE READING I’M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING