Pessimist Loans
Borrow money from pessimists–they don’t expect it back
Archive for March, 2010
The Way to a Man’s Heart
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
Magnets vs Women
What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!
Boss Jokes
Boss: (to employee) – Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock. Employee: Who’s there? Boss: Not you anymore.
3 Legged Dog
A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Eskimo Girls
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
Wife vs Girlfriend
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend? A:About 45 pounds!!
Programming Sex
Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
A Rose By Many Other Names
Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely petals and perfume aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!
Harassment
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 per minute
Alien Text Message
I’M AN ALIEN. I HAVE JUST TRANSFORMED MYSELF INTO THIS TEXT. AS YOU ARE READING I’M HAVING SEX WITH YOUR EYEBALLS. I KNOW THAT YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE YOU ARE SMILING
Answering Machines
Why does an answering machine never gives actually give me answer when I ask something ?
When a Women Loses 90% of Her IQ
What do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence ??……………………………a widow !!!!!
April 1st Traffic Lights
Why do the number of traffic accidents with blond girls increase at April 1st? ….. When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke
Men and Dolphins
What is resemblance between a man and a dolphin? They both seem intelligent, but it has not been proven yet!!!