Funny Text Messages

It must have been a rainy day when you were born. Heaven was crying because it lost its most beautiful angel!

I dream those eyes, those lips, that face, that body..so perfect…Ok, enough about ME! Tell me something about you

If love is a crime, lock me up, I’m guilty baby!

Are you free. for the rest of your life?

You’re eyes are soft en tender, as sweet as they can be. There’s one thing you must remember, you are the one for me!!!

Do you know that you would look great with two pounds less … in my opinion those clothes weigh exactly two pounds!

In my dreams you’re mine, in my life you’re a dream.

If I have a strong desire, don’t say it is a sin. I’m already on fire, and just want to touch your skin.

Math can be fun!!! Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and we can multiply!

After 50 years of wondering why he didn’t look like his younger sister or brother, the man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. “Yes, you were son,” his mother said as she started to cry softly. “but it didn’t work out and they brought you back.”

I’ve heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children’s iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

Q. How do you know when it’s time to wash dishes and clean the house? A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it’s not time.

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess… “Will you marry me?” The Princess said “NO!” And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank [...]

A man from New Zealand, one from Texas, and one from Australia are sitting around bragging about how big things are in their home countries. The man from New Zealand says “ Our sheep are so big that it takes 6 guys to load one into the trailer!” “That’s nothing” says the Texan. “ Our [...]