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Older Jokes
- Snow Rules Street Parking
- Funny Business Signs
- Having A Son
- Prescription for the rest of life
- Ole The Painter
- Ole – The Doctor
- Jokes To Offend Everyone
- A Joke For Truck Drivers
- Ethel’s Big Night
- The Bacon Tree
- Bubba and Emily Sue
- Aviaries and a Cockatoo
- Worse than a Double Murder Suicide
- Insulting Mother-In-Law
- Exam Answers from 8th Graders
Monthly Archives: January 2011
How I Cook
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
Emo Kids
If Emo kids enjoy being sad and depressed all the time aren’t they really happy all the time?
Clunking Noise
An auto mechanic received a repair order that read: “Check for clunking sound when going around corners.” Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a “clunk.” He then made a left turn and again heard a “clunk.” Back at the shop he opened … Continue reading
Captain Goldberg
A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week’s shore leave. The first evening, the ship’s Captain received the following note from the wife of a wealthy plantation owner: “Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda’s Debutante Ball. I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress … Continue reading
The Alamo
The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo . He walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort. William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out … Continue reading
Sci Fi and Recipes
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “Well, that’s not going to happen.”
Take Your Time
Did I like nut another to it send do to better anything have doesn’t that person a like this reading time sweet your took you since. (Now read it backwards)
Effects of Alcohol
A man goes into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine, who is sitting by herself. Man: ‘May I buy you a cocktail?’ Maxine: ‘No thank you, alcohol is bad for my legs. Man: ‘Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?’ Maxine: ‘No, they spread
Lousy Golfer
Bob M: This morning I waded across a raging river, escaped from bears in the woods, marched up and down a mountain, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of quicksand and climbed up an enormous tree. Bill P: Wow, you must be a great outdoorsman? Bob M: No, I’m just a lousy … Continue reading
Idaho
A slutty girl is flirting with 2 guys in a chatroom. The first guy asks, “What state are you from?” While at the same time the second guy asks, “What do you do for a living?” To satisfy them both, She replies, “Idaho.”
How I Look
“Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, “I look just fine.”
Minnesota Blizzard
I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window all day. He … Continue reading