The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping [...]
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Johnny — at the back of the class — put his hand up and [...]
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly. You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car. You actually burn your hand opening the car door. You break into a sweat the instant [...]
Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” he asked. “My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?” “Where are you?” John asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded. [...]
The Secretary came in late for work the third day in a row. The Boss called her into his office and said, “Now look Sharon, I know we had a wild fling for a while, but that’s over. I expect you to conduct yourself like any other employee around here. Who told you you could [...]
Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women? A: Because when they come, they’re wild and wet. But then they go, they take your house and car with them.
“The death of Osama bin Laden has apparently damaged our relationship with al Qaeda. Al Qaeda has released a statement vowing to make America pay for bin Laden’s death, which – I’m pretty sure we did pay for his death. We paid for the whole thing and even took care of the funeral arrangements. Maybe [...]
If it is true that girls are inclined to marry men like their fathers, it is understandable why mothers cry at weddings.
At the end of a tiny deserted bar in downtown Detroit sat a huge black man. He was having a few beers, when a short, well dressed, and obviously gay man walked in and sat beside him.After three or four beers, the gay man got the courage to say a few words to the big [...]
The fastest way to get a nun pregnant is to dress her up as an alter boy.
A new way to avoid any .08 alcohol issues while driving: I went out with some friends last night and had too many drinks. Knowing that I was way over the limit, I did something that I have never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safe and sound, which seemed really [...]
* I’m so broke me and my girlfriend got married for the rice. * I’m so broke, if a trip around the world cost a nickel, I wouldn’t have enough to leave the couch! * I’m so broke that I just went into McDonald’s and put a small fry on layaway. * If pickles were [...]