Monthly Archives: November 2011

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

It’s winter in Minnesota And the gentle breezes blow, 70 miles per hour at 52 below! Oh, how I love Minnesota When the snow’s up to your butt; You take a breath of winter air And your nose is frozen shut. Yes, the weather here is wonderful, You may think I’m a fool. I could … Continue reading

The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, “We had twins!” The family was so excited, they immediately asked, “Who do they look like?” The father paused, smiled and said, “Each other.”

#1- Eeyore doesn’t care about anything, has lack of motivation, and has slow reactions… Marijuana. #2- Piglet is afraid of everything and is paranoid of constantly being chased…Mushrooms #3- Rabbit is always in everyone’s business and constantly needs everything…Cocaine #4- Tigger cant calm down, always bounces around, and is never tired… Meth. #5- Pooh loves … Continue reading

Alcohol does not solve any problem, but then neither does milk

Two blondes were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod. “I’m going to do that when I win the lottery,” announced Blonde #1. “Do what?” asked Blonde #2. “Send my lawn out to be mowed.”

1. Talk about a huge breast! 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. It’s Cool Whip time! 4. If I don’t undo my pants, I’ll burst! 5. That’s one terrific spread! 6. I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. 7. Are you ready for seconds yet? 8. Its a little … Continue reading

If the Natives had given the Pilgrim Fathers a donkey instead of a turkey we would all be having a piece of ass for Thanksgiving.