The administration of this particular elementary school decided to start a more inclusive policy on which words were “bad” words. Among those initiated to the category was “suck” (when not referring to the principle of suction). One day a child came up to the teacher to inform her that one of the other students had [...]
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now Muslim, I’ve found that a bacon sandwich works best!
- Must we listen to Christmas Carols all year long? – We’re tired of making Barbie Dolls, can’t we make some Paris Hilton action dolls? – Besides the Head Elf, nobody ever gets any promotions. – Santa never lets us have any eggnog. – Listening to those damned chimes makes our ears hurt. – We [...]
A man walks into a bar and begins to drink beer. After every glass of beer he pulls a picture out of his pocket and looks at it. After the 4th beer the waiter asks him why after every glass of beer he pulls the picture out and looks at it. Then the man says: [...]
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the [...]
At a rape trial the young victim was asked by the D.A. what the defendant said before the alleged assault. Too embarrassed to answer aloud, the victim asked if she could write out the answer, After reading the note the judge instructed the jury foreman to read it and pass it arnong the rest of [...]
An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks What is wrong?? The boy says, ‘Me ma is dead.’ ‘Oh bejaysus.’ the man says, ‘Do you want me to call Father O’Riley for you?’ The boy replies, ‘No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the [...]
Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, fat chance with a face like that!
I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said ‘Any Change?’ I said ‘Nope, you’re still black.’
Man in a hot air balloon is lost over Ireland. He looks down and sees a farmer in the fields and shouts to him, ‘Where am I?’ ‘The Irish farmer looks back up and shouts back, ‘You’re in that feckin basket.’
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to yourself I’m going to take that.
A fat girl served me in McDonald’s during a busy lunch time. She said ‘sorry about the wait.’ I said, ‘don’t worry, you’re bound to lose it eventually.’
I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, waiting on it to turn green. A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims, shouting anti-American slogans, with a half- burned American Flag duct taped on the trunk of their car and a “Remember 9-11″ slogan spray painted on the side, stopped next to me. [...]
I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently ‘Blacks’ and ‘Mexicans’ were not the correct answers.
1. Money cannot buy happiness but…somehow, its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes Benz than in a Kia. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the bastard’s name. 3. Help a man when he is in trouble & he will remember you when he is in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because [...]