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Older Jokes
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- Worse than a Double Murder Suicide
- Insulting Mother-In-Law
- Exam Answers from 8th Graders
Monthly Archives: April 2012
Traffic Cameras
My husband was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the … Continue reading
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde Flight Attendant
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs And asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew’s refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for Them staying frozen, mentioning … Continue reading
Feherty Golf Quotes
Feherty is a CBS and Golf Channel announcer who finds very unique, colorful and uninhibited ways of explaining or describing whatever is on his mind…… Probably always on time delay these days. “Fortunately, he (Rory) is 22 years old so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.” “That ball is so … Continue reading
When People Sleep On Top Of Each Other
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked , ‘Grandpa, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?’ His Grandpa was … Continue reading
MINNESOTA QUARTERS ALERT (IMPORTANT)
Hang on to any of the new Minnesota Quarters you may acquire. They may be worth MUCH MORE than 25 cents! The US Mint announced today that it is recalling all of the Minnesota quarters that are part of its program featuring quarters from each state. This action is being taken after numerous reports that … Continue reading
HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE
- Both take up too much space on the bed. – Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. – Both are threatened by their own kind. – Both mark their territory. – Both are bad at asking you questions. – Both have an inordinate fascination with women’s crotches. – Neither does any dishes. – Both … Continue reading
Hospital Policy
A man stubbed his toe so badly he decided to go to the doctor. When he arrived at the office, the nurse directed him to remove his clothes and wait in the next room. “I just hurt my toe,” complained the man. “Why do I need to take off my clothes?” “Everyone who sees the … Continue reading
From Larry the Cable Guy
“I have noticed a large number of people, implying that Cajuns aren’t smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody who would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can’t swim is a damn genius”.
Use Dough In A Sentence
Class, today’s assignment is to spell and use the word ‘Dough’ in a sentence. Jane, you go first.” “Dough, D O U G H, Italians make pizza with dough.” Very good, Jane. Now let’s hear from Mary. “Dough, D O U G H, my brother makes things with play dough.” By this time Johnny is … Continue reading
April Fools and The Old Lady
Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age? Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st? Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a … Continue reading