April Fools and The Old Lady

Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 86 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing
on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn’t stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since
my Albert died some 20 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven’t felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so “spicy” that I
just laid down and told him “Take me, young man. Take me now!”
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled,
“April Fool!” And that’s when I shot the bastard.