Category Archives: Dear …

Dear President Obama: I am writing today with a somewhat unusual request. First and foremost, I will be asking that you return America to its August 20th, 1959 borders so that Hawaii is no longer a state and you are no longer a citizen. Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu

Dear Martin Luther King Jr. I have a dream within a dream within a dream within another dream…. What now? Sincerely, Leonardo Di Caprio

Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that. Sincerely, Logic

Dear Icebergs, Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch. Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear J.K. Rowling, Your books are entirely unrealistic.. I mean, a ginger kid with two friends? Sincerely, Anonymous

Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment. Sincerely, Canada

Dear Yahoo, I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying… Sincerely, Google

Dear 2010, So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?! Sincerely, 1985

Dear Windshield Wipers, Can’t touch this. Sincerely, That Little Triangle

Dear Rose, There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us. Sincerely, Jack PS, you let go

Dear Saturn, I liked it, so I put a ring on it. Sincerely, God

Dear Fox News, So far, no news about foxes. Sincerely, Unimpressed

Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn, Please lknvfdmv.xvn. Sincerely, Stevie Wonder

Dear Nickleback, That’s enough. Sincerely, The World

Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids, Please make one for every skin color. Sincerely, Black people