Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances. While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, “It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.” He then addressed the men. “Can you name and describe your [...]
Cowboy: GIVE ME 3 PACKETS OF CONDOMS PLEASE. CASHIER: DO YOU NEED A PAPER BAG WITH THAT, SIR? Cowboy: NAH… SHE AIN’T THAT UGLY!!
The wife told me to go to the doctor and get some of those tablets that “help” get an erection. You should have seen her face when I came back and tossed her some diet pills !
A man walks into a bar and begins to drink beer. After every glass of beer he pulls a picture out of his pocket and looks at it. After the 4th beer the waiter asks him why after every glass of beer he pulls the picture out and looks at it. Then the man says: [...]
Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such an immense shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth closed.
If having sex with two other people is called a threesome and sex with two just two people is a twosome, now you know why people call you handsome!
Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?” he asked. “My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?” “Where are you?” John asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded. [...]
RULES FOR MEN > > > 1. It’s important to have a woman who helps at home. > > 2. It’s important to have a woman who cooks from time to time. > > 3. It’s important to have a woman who keeps the house clean. > > 4.. It’s important to have a woman [...]
“The material we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is full of steroids and dye. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High transfat diets can be disastrous and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs [...]
VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES — How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry It! What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side. Why is the space between a woman’s breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits [...]
As Bobby serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let him know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.”I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something.” she suggested.”I don’t have a girlfriend,” he answered. “No girlfriend? Why not?” “My wife won’t let me.”
A very loud, ugly, hard-faced broad walks into a fine restaurant with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The door greeter says, “Good morning and welcome to to our establishment. Charming children you’ve got there. Are they twins?” The hideous bitch stops screaming long enough to [...]
My wife asked me, “How many women have you slept with?” I proudly replied, “Only you, Darling. With all the others, I was awake.”
I don’t need google… my wife knows everything
Paddy’s friend, Joe, was taking a night course in adult education. “Who is George Washington?” he asked Paddy. “I don’t know” Paddy replied. “He was the first president of the United States,” said Joe. “Do you know who Lord Nelson was?” “No,” said Paddy. “He was a great British Admiral,” said Joe. “You see you [...]