Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Dad, what vagina looks like? Before sex: a pink rose with soft lovely petals and perfume aroma. And after sex? boy, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise!

What do you call a woman who looses 90% of her intelligence ??……………………………a widow !!!!!

Why do the number of traffic accidents with blond girls increase at April 1st? ….. When the traffic light is read they think it is a joke

What is the difference between a woman and a fridge? a fridge does not moan when there is meat inside!

Beer must contain estrogen – Think about it … When you drink too much of it, you cannot say anything sensible any more, you start to nag and you are no longer able to drive a car.

Why did the statue of liberty have to be a woman?The head had to be hollow to make a restaurant in it!

A wife comes home unexpectedly one day and finds her husband in bed with a lady midget. Upset and furious over his actions, the woman screams, “You promised me two weeks ago that you would never cheat on me again!” Tryinghis best to calm her down, the husband turns to his wife and says, “Take it easy Dear, Can’t you see I’m trying to taper off?”